I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
