wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
