Can i not drive my cunt home
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
