Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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