nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
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He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
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Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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