So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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