I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
