is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
