so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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