found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
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I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
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I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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