Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
