Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
