It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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