kristin has been a bad kristin
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
