1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
