I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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