Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize