no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
