Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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