Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Be still, my beating vagina.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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