She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
