I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize