Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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