can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
