Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
