I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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