party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
