His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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