Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
