:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize