we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
