i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
