Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
