You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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