Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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