So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
