There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
