Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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