Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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