Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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