Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
