i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
