My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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