i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
