Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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