It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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