We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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