The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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