i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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