Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
