at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize