ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital