We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
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He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
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Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?