how can u be prego again
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
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I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
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are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".