I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone