I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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