Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We just shotgunned beers for America
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
