im about as happy as oj after his trial
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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