Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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