She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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