i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
