Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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