What a fucking waste of an outfit
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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