I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
