im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you have to choose: penises or morals?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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