oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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