WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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