i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My balls are so social today.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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