OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
so much tequila, so little girl.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
