is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
