i was born a porn star she said
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize