I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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