need another drink. this is the easiest way
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I could fuck to npr.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
