dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
