there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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