I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
