Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
