Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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